Manassas Park Community Matters Blog Post - Sideline Sports Etiquette – By Mike Arrington

I received an email after a Biddy Ball league game; the nature of the email concerned me. It was about how a parent was so emotionally into the game that they began yelling at the refs, the Coach, other parents on their team and worst of all yelling instructions to a kid on their team. When the intensity level reaches that point, parents move into what is called “Tunnel Vision”, they literally lose sight of what is important in youth sports and focus narrowly on their child, to the exclusion of everything else. Tunnel vision is often the reason parents act out at the game and often lose the ability to make good decisions. They find themselves saying things they normally would not say and sometimes confronting other adults to the point of threats or violence.  Here are some points to keep in mind while watching from the sidelines during biddy ball season:

• Let the coaches coach! If you are telling your son or daughter or any other player for that matter to do something different from what the coach is telling them, you create distraction and confusion.
• Do not discuss nor make negative comments about the play of players on either team. Negative comments and attitudes can be hurtful, totally unnecessary and kill parent harmony, which is often essential to youth team success.
• Do your best not to complain about your son or daughter’s coaches to other parents. Once that starts, it is like a disease that spreads. Before you know it, parents are talking constantly in a negative way behind a coach’s back. If you have what you truly feel is a legitimate beef with your child’s coach regarding game strategy or playing time, arrange an appointment to meet privately.
• Make positive comments from the sideline. Be encouraging. Young athletes do not need to be reminded constantly about their errors nor mistakes. Their coaches will instruct them, either during the game or at halftime, and during practices.
• Try to keep interaction with parents on the other team as healthy and positive as possible. Parents on the ‘other’ team are not the enemy; neither are the players on the other team.
• Avoid criticizing the referees! Yes, there are certainly times when calls are missed which can, unfortunately, have a direct effect on the outcome of the game. Not to mention such comments can teach the players to blame the refs for losing their game. The refs at least try to be fair and objective; as well as blaming others is not a formula for success in sports.
• Walking up and down along the sidelines during the game, following the play(s), is unnerving to players and unnecessary, particularly so if you are trying to yell out instructions to various players, including your own son or daughter. It is embarrassing to the players involved and simply counterproductive. If you want to coach please volunteer too.

At the end of the day we sign our kids up for sports to allow them to find themselves and to have fun participating in something they enjoy. It is not at all about the parents (though their support is paramount), it is however about setting the proper standards of conduct for them to emulate. Don’t forget that it is just a game and sometimes we need to be reminded of this. Until next time, see you in the gym.

Mike Arrington is a Recreation Specialist for the Manassas Park Parks and Recreation Department.  He can be reached at 703.335.8872 or via email at m.arrington@manassasparkva.gov.

Community Matters is a blog created by the City of Manassas Park Department of Parks and Recreation. The blog features program updates, announcements of new services, special event notices, or information of general interest.